Books and Bookstores

Where is nature so weak as in the bookstore? -- Henry Ward Beecher


I confess. I'm a bookaholic. I always have more books than I will probably ever read and spend more on books than I truly ought, but I can't help myself. I hear of an interesting book and I'm off to find it at B&N, Borders, Amazon, Alibris or anywhere I can find it.

When I moved from the house in Litchfield, I donated 23 boxes of assorted books to the library for its annual sale. Some of them were so hard to part with like my full set of Anne McCaffrey's dragon series, while others were books that I'd read years before and really just needed to get rid of. Mysteries, thrillers, cookbooks, a few biographies, a few nonfictions, and a few religious books. Some were easy to dump, others were wrenching. I still packed up and brought with me more books than I probably needed, and certainly more than I have room for, but somehow I always find room for just one more --- or ten more.

I used to read voraciously, 12-15 books a week even while I was working full time. The library called me their best customer; my reading helped up their statistics in the county-wide system and so they got more and better books. That was flattering but it was a small library that I was rapidly out-reading. And I was finding interest in kinds of books a small library wouldn't carry or would have trouble getting.

My friend Marthella and I used to go shopping quite often, always on Saturday when we could make a day of it. I'd tell the spousal unit I'd be home by 2 pm but he didn't blink if it were after 4 when I got home. He knew the lure of bookstores and that Marthella and I would spend at least an hour each in one or more of them on every outing. I'd usually come home with one or two bags with bookstore logos, and for a week or so I'd be indulging almost every free moment curled up in my reclining wing chair with cat on lap, devouring the latest purchases.

The computer opened more doors with immediate and constant access to bookstores so vast no one building could hold them all. Whatever book I want, I can usually find somewhere. Sometimes I laugh and say that Amazon and Alibris are my two best friends. JJ and Mouse know it is they who really are, but they understand the comment anyway. Mouse and I swap books from time to time, care packages sent across the miles with stuff to read and discuss just as we have done for years. When a box comes (or a box gets shipped), it's Christmas, even if it's July 4th.

My friend Anne, a retired priest, once told me I needed to spend less time online. I didn't see it that way then but I've come to realize the wisdom of it. Gradually I have been withdrawing from online places I once felt were my lifeline to the world. Now I see them more as crutches, places I would go to make myself feel better and learn things but which almost always led to heartbreak and isolation. With the cutting of those particular ties, I've got more time to actually read some of the books I've acquired but never had time (or energy) to read. I still go online, and not only to buy books, but I'm more selective about where I go, how often, and how long I stay there. Meanwhile the wing chair (which shows the years of use) and the books await, and a new generation of cat curls up on my lap as I read.

Clothes? Give me blue jeans, t-shirts, Birkenstocks and maybe a pair of nicer pants, a nicer shirt and newer Birks for dress-up and I'm fine. I do admit to weakness for iTunes and the addition of new music to my iPod collection, but heck, I've been involved with music for years as both listener and performer (none to write home about in either case). I can spend quite a bit of time in hardware stores (adult toy stores, in a way, with all kinds of fascinating gizmos), electronics stores and even grocery stores (choosing this brand over that can be a fascinating study). Still, let me loose in a store that has books, preferably lots of them, and go get lunch. I'll be there when you get back, probably trying to make up my mind which of three or four books I've examined I really want to take home. Two if it's a good week, pay-wise.

I can find God in bookstores. Lord knows, I gravitate to the theology section now instead of the latest thrillers. If it says Brueggemann or Chittister or Borg or any of half a dozen writers, it's probably going to the top of the possible purchase lists. I don't want "feel-good" religious books, books written to convince me that God has a purpose in making life tough or that I can beat any addiction (even books) if I just pray hard enough and believe God will heal me without doing any of the work myself. I've read enough of those. While I don't object to books that can point the finger at the moon, I don't want to mistake the fingers for the moon itself. Make me think, don't just give me pat answers. God's there in the process somewhere.

So Henry, thanks for summing up in a single sentence one of the major passions of my life. Now please excuse me; I got a gift card from Barnes & Noble for Christmas that's burning a hole in my wallet.