Advent has arrived. One Sunday down, three more to go. Christmas lights are going up on homes and businesses (at least, the ones who didn't put theirs up around Labor Day). There are more Christmas songs on the radio, and the temperatures are lower than they were this summer, for which most of us (especially in Arizona) are most profoundly grateful. Commercials urge us to be merry and spend money. Still, a few bring a message that rings more with kindness, contributing to the benefit of others and peace.
I've always loved Christmas. I loved the trees, the Christmas lights inside and outside, and the decorations people used on their landscapes. I loved shopping for gifts, smelling scents of spices and evergreens in the air, and the fact that quite a large number of folks seemed to be a lot more polite to each other. I notice that around Christmas, quite a few shoppers make way so that someone with just an item or two can go ahead of them. It used to be a kinder, gentler season, and I can only hope that this one is too.
Unfortunately, there are those for whom Christmas is not holly, jolly, or fun. For them, it is a drudgery to get through each day, a futile struggle to put on a happy face or decorate the house. It's a season of more than the usual isolation, away from parties and social occasions in which others revel. For some, it is depressing to be unable to buy Christmas gifts or special seasonal foods. It's exhausting to be around others, trying to portray an enjoyment of something that is far from enjoyable to them.
For some, it is a time of mourning for loved ones who are no longer with us through death, illness, or distance. For others, the struggle with mental health issues feels like being in a storm-tossed sea with no rescue in sight. It is exhausting enough for those who are ill to move from chair to bed, much less decorate, cook, wrap, and do other typical holiday tasks.
These are people who are frequently forgotten during this holiday season, including both Advent and Christmas. As we exhibit our personal and family happiness, joy, and anticipation, we don't think much about those who may be in our own circles who are suffering. We drop coins and bills in charity kettles and put canned food and presents into special boxes for the less fortunate. We take names off Giving Trees to ensure deprived children get something with their names on it for Christmas. Sometimes we visit rehabilitation centers and nursing homes to sing carols and spend time with those who are shut-in or alone and in need of care. It makes for a busy season for us, but we do it because it's part of the traditions of this time of year, and we feel good for having done it.
Some churches acknowledge that this season can be much different from how most people appear to feel. The churches deliberately attempt to draw in those who grieve, feel lost, or are alone. The usual date for such services is on the winter solstice, the "Longest Night" of the year. This year that date comes on December 22nd.
The churches use these services for parishioners and strangers alike to come together to remember, heal, and hope. Worshippers are encouraged to light candles for whatever remembrance they wish to honor. The lighting is soft, and the atmosphere is quiet and peaceful. There are special prayers for the service, offering empathy, comfort, strength, and inclusion for those who are most alone at this time of year. It is a beautiful and uplifting experience.
Who do you know who might be struggling this year? Is your church offering such a service to the wider community? If so, who could you invite? If not, is it something your church could offer?
Think of it like this. Isn't this showing those who need the most care the very thing Jesus told us to offer? Isn't this showing a love of neighbors that was one of the essential teachings Jesus left for us to do? Yes, we do things for others at Christmas, and yes, they show our love of neighbors and willingness to help with their needs. This gift of service helps a quiet group of people, seldom heard or thought of at a difficult time in their lives.
It's amazing how uplifting a time of quiet reflection, an offer of remembrance, love, and comfort can be to the lonely, hurting people and even the healthy, happy folks as well.
Blue Christmas is more than an old song by Elvis. It is a live, living source of comfort and joy.
Originally published on Speaking to the Soul at Episcopal Café, Saturday, December 4, 2021
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