I missed a birthday of someone important a few months ago. Well, someone important to me. Probably 99.999% of the world may never have heard her name, but to those who know her, she is a person of great importance.
I met her probably 25 years ago or so and immediately was drawn to her. She was a woman with a presence, an air about her that exuded calm and poise. She was lovely to look at, graceful in her movements, intelligent and honest in her conversations, and always more interested in listening than talking. She didn't want to be the center of attention, the one everybody relied on to get things done, or the head of any group or organization. She had the self-awareness to feel comfortable in her own skin, knowing where her skills and interests lay, and the wisdom to keep focused on those things even when others very much wanted her to go in a different direction.
She was and is a woman of many talents. She sang in the choir, she took tap dancing lessons, she worked the daily crossword puzzle -- the hard one. She learned to paint and created works of art that were as individual as they were aesthetically pleasing. She passed that talent along to one of her daughters -- but the creativity she possessed was shared with all three of the girls in different ways. They are all beautiful, talented, and close to the mother who fostered their interests and supported them as they grew and blossomed.
She is a wife par excellence, supportive, present, forgiving, doing the expected things with grace and charm. Her husband, a great guy and very intelligent himself, said that the best decision he ever made was to ask her to marry him. I think that without her, he could not have succeeded in his chosen professions as he has done. She was the calming force to his restlessness and drive. They complimented each other and, while I'm sure there were problems as there are in almost every marriage, there was never any outward signs of them. She is devoted to her family as they are devoted to her. She is the glue, just enough to hold the family together, never so much that it overwhelms or stifles the dynamics of the individuals in it. That in itself is a gift of great worth.
I've had so many wonderful conversations with her. She is an intelligent, well-read woman with a wide range of interests and an ability to talk about any number of subjects. She has traveled to Europe and Russia with her husband and to an archaeological dig in the Far East with her daughter. She was as at home in a tent on the tundra as in a fine hotel in Paris or London. I think she was born knowing which fork to use when and how to make both cooking and eating an aesthetic experience. And oh, that lady can cook! I never knew how good clam chowder could be until I had hers, and that was only one of her specialties.
She is also a woman of great faith. She doesn't talk about it a lot, but it is there. She is one who preaches with her actions just as her husband does with his words. There is no pretense; what you see is what you get. She doesn't bring God up all that often, but she doesn't need to. It's sort of obvious that she and God have a pretty special relationship.
I'm sure she's no saint, although I have never heard anyone say anything negative about her, something so unusual as to be utterly remarkable. In fact, a number of her friends and admirers think she could be canonized right now and the communion of Saints would be the richer for it. She'd probably pooh-pooh the idea, but I wonder if she really realizes how influential and how loved she is. I hope she does, but I think her natural modesty and reticence would quickly put aside any notions that she was anything really unusual or special.
Happy belated birthday, Bettie. Thank you for the years of friendship and example you've given me. It's a gift I treasure. Thank you for sharing your home, your family, your stories, your time -- and your cat. Thank you for making me smile at the remembering of the times I shared with you. I'm looking forward to a more timely set of birthday wishes next year at this time.
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