Decorating the Christmas tree has always been a big deal to me. From the time I was a small child, getting the tree set up (a real cedar when I was a child, an artificial most of my adult life) was something to be done on Thanksgiving weekend; it was like we just couldn't wait any longer to see the twinkle of lights and the glimmer of tinsel. Then we got down to the nitty-gritty. Opening the box of ornaments was like looking at a well-thumbed and beloved family album. Each ornament seemed to have a story to tell, a story repeated every year and every time someone noticed it. Each one was precisely placed so that it didn't overshadow (or was overshadowed by) another ornament. The tree became more than a symbol of the Christmas season, it became where our family history became focalized.
When I married and moved away, it became time to start growing new family memories. I didn't bring any ornaments from home, probably because our family situation had changed so much and partly because I moved away in August, hardly a time to think about Christmas. so our tree started from scratch. We bought ornaments at the BX -- mostly colored glass balls but one group of frosted glass with gold trim and a citrine rhinestone on each and their complementary gold balls with white trim and a pearl. They were beautiful and I loved them.
The year my son was born we added more memories to the box that came out every Christmas. Since we lived in a place where snow never came, I made snowflakes out of paper doilies and hung them from the ceiling around the tree, something I did for several years. This time the BX had a set of four little plastic cutaway balls in different colors, each with a little soldier-musician inside. They were placed low on the tree, partly so the baby could see them and partly because the cat (our Dammit) would bat at those and leave the more breakable stuff higher up.
Time went by, each Christmas usually adding one keepsake ornament to represent something significant. But just as seasons change, relationships do too and when my son was 4 his father and I separated and divorced. I got most of the ornaments but had to find new ways to make the season like the Christmases I had known. I wanted that for my son. He presented me with an ornament he had made at day care -- two pieces of green felt stuffed and glued together with some sequins glued on. The next year he had graduated to a clothespin reindeer with googly plastic eyes and a green and red blanket across his back. Yet another year was a handprint in clay that went on the tree although in toward the trunk so it wouldn't fall off and get broken.
We added a string of three graduated glass bells at the bottom of the tree, our "cat alarm" we called it. If the tree moved even slightly, the "alarm" would go off and we could rescue it from the cat. Mostly though, Dammit curled up under it, demurely tucking her paws under her white shirt that had partially given her her name ("damit" was Filipino for shirt or dress -- the extra "m" came from repeated injunctions for her to get off the table, to stop climbing the curtains or when surveying the wreckage of another ornament, or tipped-over flower pot).
More time, more changes. The little sailor with the semaphore flags joined the others in the box that reappeared every year, sometimes in very distant locations from where they were packed away the Christmas before. The next year we added a funny little 'possum hanging by his tail from a branch and reading a book -- an ornament we got for my dad and which always made him laugh. Dad liked critters like 'possums and alligators and the like.
I remarried and we formed a new family with a new tree. The old favorites came out and new ones added. One year we had mostly wooden representations of toys including trains that were a passion with my husband and airplanes for a little boy who wanted to be a pilot when he grew up. I even found a wooden cat on a stepladder holding a star. There was something for everybody. There was the year we made ornaments of stacks of cinnamon sticks wrapped with red and gold ribbon. Each year there were a few new ornaments to tell a story like the tiny English cottages and church that represented my fascination and passion for David Winter cottages or the little train station that had a light inside.
The little boy with the big blue eyes and blonde curls grew up and eventually moved away. He still came home at Christmas and the same ornaments were there to greet him. Every year we added another cat ornament for me, a train ornament for my husband and sometimes an ornament sent by a friend who knew just what would look good on our tree and remind us of them like the three kittens in a mitten from a friend who adopted a cat the year I adopted her Geordie's two girl cousins, Jane and Maggie, from the same breeder. The ornament cats weren't colored like the three we had but it didn't matter. It was the memory it evoked that counted.
Then not many years ago we went to put up the tree and ----- the ornament box was full of tinsel and strings of lights but no ornaments. We checked another box and yet another. A few stragglers appeared, like the three kittens in the mitten and Dad's 'possum but we couldn't find the rest of them anywhere. The tree looked pretty bare that year and my heart sank a little more each time we ran across a box we hadn't searched and which might just possibly…. but it never was. I made some salt-dough ornaments to hang on the tree but somehow they just weren't the same; they couldn't be. Yet this is what we had so it was grit your teeth, pick up your chin and get on with life.
The Christmas after my husband died I had moved into a small place and given away the tree, the lights and most of whatever was left of the life and Christmases we had shared. I hadn't felt like celebrating Christmas for several years -- depression mostly-- but I felt like I needed to at least put up something small to mark the season. I bought a little tabletop tree with the lights already strung on it. That was fine; it was always husband's job to string the lights and that year he wasn't there to do it. That's as far as Christmas went, except to hang a wreath on the door. I had bought outside lights but just couldn't find the time or the energy (or much desire) to put them up. I'd lost a lot in a short period of time -- a husband, a house, hours at work, three pet cats along with at least 3 ferals outdoors, and those missing ornaments were just one more thing to grieve.
I still grieve those losses. It seems so petty to miss things like missing cats or tiny cottages or clothespin reindeer at the same time I am getting used to living alone but it's like missing an arm or a leg. Sure, I can get by without them but their very missing state seems to embody all the losses I've had over the years -- the family, friends, happy places, happy memories, the illusion of security and belonging that I once took for granted and even the once almost overwhelming joy of Christmas.
This year the little tree is up once again, loosely anchored to the wall to add stability from the occasional cat incursion. This year I looked at the almost bare branches, empty except for the little colored lights, and decided it needed something. I had bought some clear plastic crystal-shaped things to do something with (or maybe just because I liked them) the year before and it occurred to me that I could hang just a few on the tree and gussy it up a bit. I found some in different shapes in the store and also some others on strings that I could take apart and add to hangers. The tree is now fairly decorated with dangles and bell-shapes and rectangles and faceted spheres. Even with the lights off, the crystals catch the light and shine. I feel better. They will never replace the ones that were lost but it's my job now to make new memories and find new ways of coping. Putting crystal shapes together helps me feel creative again and the work with my hands gives me satisfaction. The boys seem to like them too -- or perhaps they are fascinated because now and then one "drops" off (often with a little help) and they make a noise as they roll across the floor.
Merry new Christmas to me. Hang on, there's a bare branch over there that needs something. And so it goes.
Friday, December 25, 2009
Sunday, December 6, 2009
On the diocesan election in LA
The Diocese of Los Angeles has elected two new suffragan bishops --- both female. That in itself would serve as front-page material in some journalistic elements but no, the big news is that one of them is lesbian on top of being female (of course, to be lesbian I think you HAVE to be female, don't you?). That she is in a long-term committed relationship is an offense in some areas, notably in some areas of the Episcopal Church (some areas already halfway or more out the door) and the Anglical Communion (notably parts of the US, parts of Africa and parts, it seems, of the UK).
Before the election of Mary Glasspool was even cool, the Archbishop of Canterbury jumped up and began proclaiming that the election would have "important implications", yadda yadda yadda. What it amounts to is "you PROMISED to exercise restraint! NOW look what you've done! BAD! BAD! BAD!" This isn't the first time the ABC has butted into the affairs of TEC --- remember his comments during and after General Convention about what was expected of us and how it could reflect on how we were perceived and continued to be part of the Anglican Communion? He certainly didn't waste any time -- or mince any words.
Which makes it all the more galling. You have churches that are part of the Anglican Communion espousing life prison sentences and even death for GLBT folk in their countries as well as possible imprisonment for any foreigners who serve the GLBT communities or even speak out against the proposed legislation. The silence from Lambeth Palace is absolutely deafening. It's been weeks and weeks yet he hasn't said a word, EVER, about the boundary crossing much less the inhumanity. I simply do not understand.
For a long time our Presiding Bishop was silent on the issue but she has broken her silence in a statement that was pastoral, well-crafted and strong. It felt good to hear her words, words many had despaired of ever hearing.
Yet Lambeth has commented, as usual, in a way that encourages the one wing and denigrates the other.
I would like TEC to cease contributing more than a modest sum to the Anglican Communion and its arms. I would like to see TEC continue building relationships around the world and providing aid to those in need in whatever country they may be. I would like the bishops and standing committees to approve the election of Mary Glasscock. They have approved some elections of bishops-elect about whom there is dis-ease with their position and concern whether or not they would remain part of TEC yet they were the duly elected bishops of their dioceses and the dioceses surely chose the candidates they felt the Spirit had sent them.
As for the ABC, my respect for him as primus inter pares is gone. I cannot respect a person, no matter how exalted, who seems to be catering to bullies and backstabbing friends. the bullies will never be appeased until they control Lambeth Palace and the Anglican Communion itself. The friends will try to retain bonds of affection even when they are slapped in the face again and again and yet they will grow tired eventually and ask why such treatment is so necessary.
Archbishop Rowan, change your brand of tea. Whatever you're drinking, it feels like you've ingested jimson weed tea instead of Earl Grey, and the delusions you have been given as a result have seriously disrupted the reality of the world, the Church and the Anglican communion. You can't win with the bullies. They have no respect for you or your office, no matter what you do to appease them. And you will lose the friends who have supported you even when you stab them.
God help us
Before the election of Mary Glasspool was even cool, the Archbishop of Canterbury jumped up and began proclaiming that the election would have "important implications", yadda yadda yadda. What it amounts to is "you PROMISED to exercise restraint! NOW look what you've done! BAD! BAD! BAD!" This isn't the first time the ABC has butted into the affairs of TEC --- remember his comments during and after General Convention about what was expected of us and how it could reflect on how we were perceived and continued to be part of the Anglican Communion? He certainly didn't waste any time -- or mince any words.
Which makes it all the more galling. You have churches that are part of the Anglican Communion espousing life prison sentences and even death for GLBT folk in their countries as well as possible imprisonment for any foreigners who serve the GLBT communities or even speak out against the proposed legislation. The silence from Lambeth Palace is absolutely deafening. It's been weeks and weeks yet he hasn't said a word, EVER, about the boundary crossing much less the inhumanity. I simply do not understand.
For a long time our Presiding Bishop was silent on the issue but she has broken her silence in a statement that was pastoral, well-crafted and strong. It felt good to hear her words, words many had despaired of ever hearing.
Yet Lambeth has commented, as usual, in a way that encourages the one wing and denigrates the other.
I would like TEC to cease contributing more than a modest sum to the Anglican Communion and its arms. I would like to see TEC continue building relationships around the world and providing aid to those in need in whatever country they may be. I would like the bishops and standing committees to approve the election of Mary Glasscock. They have approved some elections of bishops-elect about whom there is dis-ease with their position and concern whether or not they would remain part of TEC yet they were the duly elected bishops of their dioceses and the dioceses surely chose the candidates they felt the Spirit had sent them.
As for the ABC, my respect for him as primus inter pares is gone. I cannot respect a person, no matter how exalted, who seems to be catering to bullies and backstabbing friends. the bullies will never be appeased until they control Lambeth Palace and the Anglican Communion itself. The friends will try to retain bonds of affection even when they are slapped in the face again and again and yet they will grow tired eventually and ask why such treatment is so necessary.
Archbishop Rowan, change your brand of tea. Whatever you're drinking, it feels like you've ingested jimson weed tea instead of Earl Grey, and the delusions you have been given as a result have seriously disrupted the reality of the world, the Church and the Anglican communion. You can't win with the bullies. They have no respect for you or your office, no matter what you do to appease them. And you will lose the friends who have supported you even when you stab them.
God help us
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Thoughts on Sarah and Hagar
Now Sarai, Abram's wife, had borne him no children. But she had an Egyptian maidservant named Hagar; so she said to Abram, "The LORD has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my maidservant; perhaps I can build a family through her."
Abram agreed to what Sarai said. So after Abram had been living in Canaan ten years, Sarai his wife took her Egyptian maidservant Hagar and gave her to her husband to be his wife. He slept with Hagar, and she conceived.
When she knew she was pregnant, she began to despise her mistress. Then Sarai said to Abram, "You are responsible for the wrong I am suffering. I put my servant in your arms, and now that she knows she is pregnant, she despises me. May the LORD judge between you and me."
"Your servant is in your hands," Abram said. "Do with her whatever you think best." Then Sarai mistreated Hagar; so she fled from her. (Genesis 16:1-6, NIV )
There's been a bit of discussion about Sarah and Hagar lately on the discussion board for our EfM group. One really outstanding thing about online EfM is that the dialog doesn't stop at 9:30pm on Sunday night when the class ends. Some, like this one, can go on for weeks with people contributing and reading the contributions of others as new thoughts or available time permit.
It seems hard to find a justification for Sarah's treatment of Hagar. Turning her out, as Abraham gave her implicit if not explicit permission to do, was tantamount to a death sentence for both Hagar and the child Hagar conceived by Abraham but with Sarah's permission and connivance. The child would have been considered Sarah's as soon as Sarah held the child "on her knee", a ceremonial adoption. For all intents and purposes, Ishmael would have become Sarah and Abraham's son, not Hagar's.
I can't help but think that had Hagar not gotten what Southerners call "uppity" things might have gone better. Being "uppity" means acting in a way that is above your station, like an employee acting like a boss or a chauffeur using the limo for his own parties and purposes. Hagar's pregnancy would have been hard enough for Sarah to bear, knowing that Abraham still had potency while it was her, Sarah's, fault that they had no children to fill the tent and most of all, to inherit Abraham's flocks and herds. It had always been whispered that Sarah was at fault because in that day, it was believed that a man's sperm contained babies just waiting to be implanted and incubated in the womb of a woman. That was why Onan's "crime" centuries later was considered severe enough for God to kill him on the spot. Onan had literally "killed" children when he ejaculated on the ground instead of impregnating his sister-in-law who would have raised the child or children as her dead husband's heir.
Regardless, Sarah's story at this point brings me conflicted feelings. On one hand it is hard to understand how one woman could be so cruel to another, how one woman with the power of life and death over another could exercise that option in such a cold, hard way. Sarah herself had put Hagar in the position in which the servant found herself and yet Sarah was ready to terminate that situation.
But then, I can empathize with Sarah. Like The Mouse That Roared, you have to be careful how you treat people because even a mouse can become a lion given the right circumstances. And the story tells us that Hagar was roaring. After all, she was pregnant by Abraham, carrying Abraham's heir while Sarah was just a withered bag of bones with a barren womb and no hope of changing that. Clearly Hagar felt she had the upper hand but I wonder if, in some perverse way, Sarah didn't already have what T-shirts a few years ago proudly proclaimed as "Old age and treachery will overcome youth and skill." Sarah and Hagar may have been sisters under the skin but that didn't prevent them from engaging in both sibling rivalry as well as "I'm the boss so you'd better...."
Poor Hagar. She was caught in the middle of a situation not of her own making but she chose to use it to her advantage. Poor Sarah. She did what she thought she had to do to protect what Abraham had built but she didn't figure on Hagar figuratively biting the hand that fed her -- and the unborn child -- probably better than she would have been fed otherwise. Poor Abraham -- caught in the middle and blamed for (a) not sticking up for the underdog and (b) doing what his wife wanted in the first place.
For some reason, this story brought to mind the protesters outside Planned Parenthood clinics -- clinics that do perform abortions but which also provides contraception information and assistance. As I see the people pacing back and forth, some reading a Bible or praying, some carrying signs I wouldn't like a young child to see, I wonder how many of those Sarahs were willing to adopt a child that is already born and in the foster care system for whatever reason. maybe some of them have -- but it's a thing I always wonder.
As a child whose mother decided to walk out of her life when she was six months old, I am eternally grateful to the Sarah (whose name was really Alberta) who heard the cry for help from my father (a long-time friend of the family) who was in the service and found himself with a small girl child on his hands and no way to care for her. I was lucky but I hear stories of others who weren't so lucky, people who had no Sarah.
I also think of the children who wind up with parents who divorce and then fight over who has custody. I also think of kids whose divorced parent remarries and whose step parent really doesn't want a reminder around of a previous relationship. the ones who really suffer are the Isaacs and the Ishmaels and they are the ones least able to control or even cope with the situation and come out unscathed.
It's a sad story. It happens over and over. The circumstances may differ but the situation is still the same -- who has power over whom, what they do with that power, and who pays the price. Nobody escapes untouched.
Abram agreed to what Sarai said. So after Abram had been living in Canaan ten years, Sarai his wife took her Egyptian maidservant Hagar and gave her to her husband to be his wife. He slept with Hagar, and she conceived.
When she knew she was pregnant, she began to despise her mistress. Then Sarai said to Abram, "You are responsible for the wrong I am suffering. I put my servant in your arms, and now that she knows she is pregnant, she despises me. May the LORD judge between you and me."
"Your servant is in your hands," Abram said. "Do with her whatever you think best." Then Sarai mistreated Hagar; so she fled from her. (Genesis 16:1-6, NIV )
There's been a bit of discussion about Sarah and Hagar lately on the discussion board for our EfM group. One really outstanding thing about online EfM is that the dialog doesn't stop at 9:30pm on Sunday night when the class ends. Some, like this one, can go on for weeks with people contributing and reading the contributions of others as new thoughts or available time permit.
It seems hard to find a justification for Sarah's treatment of Hagar. Turning her out, as Abraham gave her implicit if not explicit permission to do, was tantamount to a death sentence for both Hagar and the child Hagar conceived by Abraham but with Sarah's permission and connivance. The child would have been considered Sarah's as soon as Sarah held the child "on her knee", a ceremonial adoption. For all intents and purposes, Ishmael would have become Sarah and Abraham's son, not Hagar's.
I can't help but think that had Hagar not gotten what Southerners call "uppity" things might have gone better. Being "uppity" means acting in a way that is above your station, like an employee acting like a boss or a chauffeur using the limo for his own parties and purposes. Hagar's pregnancy would have been hard enough for Sarah to bear, knowing that Abraham still had potency while it was her, Sarah's, fault that they had no children to fill the tent and most of all, to inherit Abraham's flocks and herds. It had always been whispered that Sarah was at fault because in that day, it was believed that a man's sperm contained babies just waiting to be implanted and incubated in the womb of a woman. That was why Onan's "crime" centuries later was considered severe enough for God to kill him on the spot. Onan had literally "killed" children when he ejaculated on the ground instead of impregnating his sister-in-law who would have raised the child or children as her dead husband's heir.
Regardless, Sarah's story at this point brings me conflicted feelings. On one hand it is hard to understand how one woman could be so cruel to another, how one woman with the power of life and death over another could exercise that option in such a cold, hard way. Sarah herself had put Hagar in the position in which the servant found herself and yet Sarah was ready to terminate that situation.
But then, I can empathize with Sarah. Like The Mouse That Roared, you have to be careful how you treat people because even a mouse can become a lion given the right circumstances. And the story tells us that Hagar was roaring. After all, she was pregnant by Abraham, carrying Abraham's heir while Sarah was just a withered bag of bones with a barren womb and no hope of changing that. Clearly Hagar felt she had the upper hand but I wonder if, in some perverse way, Sarah didn't already have what T-shirts a few years ago proudly proclaimed as "Old age and treachery will overcome youth and skill." Sarah and Hagar may have been sisters under the skin but that didn't prevent them from engaging in both sibling rivalry as well as "I'm the boss so you'd better...."
Poor Hagar. She was caught in the middle of a situation not of her own making but she chose to use it to her advantage. Poor Sarah. She did what she thought she had to do to protect what Abraham had built but she didn't figure on Hagar figuratively biting the hand that fed her -- and the unborn child -- probably better than she would have been fed otherwise. Poor Abraham -- caught in the middle and blamed for (a) not sticking up for the underdog and (b) doing what his wife wanted in the first place.
For some reason, this story brought to mind the protesters outside Planned Parenthood clinics -- clinics that do perform abortions but which also provides contraception information and assistance. As I see the people pacing back and forth, some reading a Bible or praying, some carrying signs I wouldn't like a young child to see, I wonder how many of those Sarahs were willing to adopt a child that is already born and in the foster care system for whatever reason. maybe some of them have -- but it's a thing I always wonder.
As a child whose mother decided to walk out of her life when she was six months old, I am eternally grateful to the Sarah (whose name was really Alberta) who heard the cry for help from my father (a long-time friend of the family) who was in the service and found himself with a small girl child on his hands and no way to care for her. I was lucky but I hear stories of others who weren't so lucky, people who had no Sarah.
I also think of the children who wind up with parents who divorce and then fight over who has custody. I also think of kids whose divorced parent remarries and whose step parent really doesn't want a reminder around of a previous relationship. the ones who really suffer are the Isaacs and the Ishmaels and they are the ones least able to control or even cope with the situation and come out unscathed.
It's a sad story. It happens over and over. The circumstances may differ but the situation is still the same -- who has power over whom, what they do with that power, and who pays the price. Nobody escapes untouched.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
PrePare
No matter how well one plans, something always seems to throw a spanner into the works. I had planned out a TR for our online class last Sunday evening but my internet seemed to have a mind of its own. Even the tech-whiz at the other end of the phone couldn't solve it on Saturday evening so an appointment was scheduled for Monday at 1:30 pm. Not much help when the class was online at 8pm on Sunday night!
I had prepared --- but suddenly it was all out of my hands. I got to thinking about how many times my preparations have ended up being for almost naught, how I had either over-prepared or under-prepared and just sort of lurched from almost a success to almost a failure and back again.
Advent is a preparatory season where we prepare for the coming of the Christ child. Unfortunately it also comes at a cost; we've been in an almost non-stop preparatory period since before Halloween. We had to have the right costumes for Susie and Billy, the right treats for small (and sometimes rather large (height-wise)) ghosts, witches, princesses and superheroes, and the right decorations to add a festive note. We prepared --- and before you knew it it was over and we were facing All Saints Day. Not much to prepare there but we had to look down the corridor to the rapidly approaching Thanksgiving celebration.
Arranging for overnight (or weekend) guests, cleaning the house to a fare-thee-well (good luck displacing all the cat and dog hair, not to mention the stray socks and errant spiderwebs in the ceiling corners), planning the perfect dinner, securing the best ingredients, planning out the timetable so the turkey is perfectly browned and ready to carve at the precise moment the green-bean casserole is the perfect temperature and the stuffing hasn't cooled too much or the potatoes left too lumpy because we didn't have the one or two minutes more we needed to ensure their perfect lump-lessness. By the time we sit down to Thanksgiving dinner we've probably spent as much as 15 hours preparing in various ways --- all for something that is eaten in a half hour or less (although the leftovers may go on for days!). We can take it easier during the football games (although the nagging thought of the dishes in the sink is doing precisely that --- nagging) but sure enough, a stray thought or two (or ten) will pop up about what to do for Christmas.
Christmas stuff has been in some stores since Labor Day. It used to be they waited until the day after Thanksgiving before decking the halls and putting up the Christmas sale displays but no more. Thanksgiving dinner isn't even cold before we have to start preparing all over again. Gotta find the perfect gift for Aunt Sallie, even if we don't like her all that much she will expect it, and will have something for us that we aren't particularly crazy about but heck, it's the thought that counts, right? Put the lights up on the house so the neighbors don't think we're Scrooges or worse. Fight for parking places somewhere within a quarter mile of the mall so we can go shop and then lug bags and bags of stuff the quarter mile back to the car -- if we can even remember where we parked it through the haze of frustration, anxiety and exhaustion. Find the lovely Christmas paper and bows we bought at the after-Christmas sale last year. Bake umpteen dozen cookies for the Christmas parties at the office, the school, the church and for having on hand in case somebody just happened to drop over for coffee. Select and trim the perfect tree with the right number of lights (not too many, not too few), ornaments (some of which are as old as if not older than our oldest kids), and tinsel garlands. There have to be the perfect number of presents under that tree -- not so many as to look like we're made of money or have stretched our credit card to the absolute max but not so few as to suggest we're penurious or worse yet, just plain cheap. the preparation reaches its height on Christmas Eve and by Christmas Day most are just ready to collapse -- once they've made the obligatory visits to Grandma, the in-laws or wherever. Just don't go in the grocery or drug stores. On Christmas Day Valentine's Day decorations, cards and candy are already on display.
Advent comes in the middle of all this preparing. We're asked to take on one more preparation, an internal one with some external duties and responsibilities. Advent is a quiet season, sort of like what pregnant women feel when they contemplate what's going on inside them. Advent is a pregnant season; it is based on Mary's pregnancy with a very exceptional child. We wait as she did, we watch, we contemplate, we prepare.
There's no one way to have a "perfect" Advent. Although Advent wreaths are traditional, sometimes they can be extremely contemporary in look and feel while still being very traditional in use and meaning. Advent discourages the orgy of Christmas carols that ring through the stores since Thanksgiving because you don't celebrate a birth until a birth has taken place. Besides, in our tradition, Christmas still has 12 days to run after Christmas Eve! Bet you won't find a single carol being played anywhere much after midnight on December 24th though!
We always have to prepare -- prepare for a coming birth, a move, a change in status, a death, an event, retirement, a financial crisis, a sudden catastrophic illness or accident, a whole raft of things that can and often do happen, just on their own timetable, not ours. We can't schedule them and often we can't even completely prepare for them like we can a trip "over the river and through the woods to Grandmother's house we go."
PrePare -- stop being anxious and frantic, stop trying to keep up much less outdo the Joneses down the street, stop trying to be all things, do all things and, most of all, buy all things. Sit quietly for a time. Think about the pregnancy of the season as Mary thought about the growing life of that special child within her. Even if your hands must be busy knitting sweaters and booties or stirring the stew, keep an inward ear on what is going on inside. Nurture the small flickering flame of faith that will grow to a strong, steady fire if propriety tended. PrePare --- let God grow in you. Renemember the "P" in the middle, a link between "pre" and "are" and yet a place to pause and reflect.
Have a blessed Advent.
I had prepared --- but suddenly it was all out of my hands. I got to thinking about how many times my preparations have ended up being for almost naught, how I had either over-prepared or under-prepared and just sort of lurched from almost a success to almost a failure and back again.
Advent is a preparatory season where we prepare for the coming of the Christ child. Unfortunately it also comes at a cost; we've been in an almost non-stop preparatory period since before Halloween. We had to have the right costumes for Susie and Billy, the right treats for small (and sometimes rather large (height-wise)) ghosts, witches, princesses and superheroes, and the right decorations to add a festive note. We prepared --- and before you knew it it was over and we were facing All Saints Day. Not much to prepare there but we had to look down the corridor to the rapidly approaching Thanksgiving celebration.
Arranging for overnight (or weekend) guests, cleaning the house to a fare-thee-well (good luck displacing all the cat and dog hair, not to mention the stray socks and errant spiderwebs in the ceiling corners), planning the perfect dinner, securing the best ingredients, planning out the timetable so the turkey is perfectly browned and ready to carve at the precise moment the green-bean casserole is the perfect temperature and the stuffing hasn't cooled too much or the potatoes left too lumpy because we didn't have the one or two minutes more we needed to ensure their perfect lump-lessness. By the time we sit down to Thanksgiving dinner we've probably spent as much as 15 hours preparing in various ways --- all for something that is eaten in a half hour or less (although the leftovers may go on for days!). We can take it easier during the football games (although the nagging thought of the dishes in the sink is doing precisely that --- nagging) but sure enough, a stray thought or two (or ten) will pop up about what to do for Christmas.
Christmas stuff has been in some stores since Labor Day. It used to be they waited until the day after Thanksgiving before decking the halls and putting up the Christmas sale displays but no more. Thanksgiving dinner isn't even cold before we have to start preparing all over again. Gotta find the perfect gift for Aunt Sallie, even if we don't like her all that much she will expect it, and will have something for us that we aren't particularly crazy about but heck, it's the thought that counts, right? Put the lights up on the house so the neighbors don't think we're Scrooges or worse. Fight for parking places somewhere within a quarter mile of the mall so we can go shop and then lug bags and bags of stuff the quarter mile back to the car -- if we can even remember where we parked it through the haze of frustration, anxiety and exhaustion. Find the lovely Christmas paper and bows we bought at the after-Christmas sale last year. Bake umpteen dozen cookies for the Christmas parties at the office, the school, the church and for having on hand in case somebody just happened to drop over for coffee. Select and trim the perfect tree with the right number of lights (not too many, not too few), ornaments (some of which are as old as if not older than our oldest kids), and tinsel garlands. There have to be the perfect number of presents under that tree -- not so many as to look like we're made of money or have stretched our credit card to the absolute max but not so few as to suggest we're penurious or worse yet, just plain cheap. the preparation reaches its height on Christmas Eve and by Christmas Day most are just ready to collapse -- once they've made the obligatory visits to Grandma, the in-laws or wherever. Just don't go in the grocery or drug stores. On Christmas Day Valentine's Day decorations, cards and candy are already on display.
Advent comes in the middle of all this preparing. We're asked to take on one more preparation, an internal one with some external duties and responsibilities. Advent is a quiet season, sort of like what pregnant women feel when they contemplate what's going on inside them. Advent is a pregnant season; it is based on Mary's pregnancy with a very exceptional child. We wait as she did, we watch, we contemplate, we prepare.
There's no one way to have a "perfect" Advent. Although Advent wreaths are traditional, sometimes they can be extremely contemporary in look and feel while still being very traditional in use and meaning. Advent discourages the orgy of Christmas carols that ring through the stores since Thanksgiving because you don't celebrate a birth until a birth has taken place. Besides, in our tradition, Christmas still has 12 days to run after Christmas Eve! Bet you won't find a single carol being played anywhere much after midnight on December 24th though!
We always have to prepare -- prepare for a coming birth, a move, a change in status, a death, an event, retirement, a financial crisis, a sudden catastrophic illness or accident, a whole raft of things that can and often do happen, just on their own timetable, not ours. We can't schedule them and often we can't even completely prepare for them like we can a trip "over the river and through the woods to Grandmother's house we go."
PrePare -- stop being anxious and frantic, stop trying to keep up much less outdo the Joneses down the street, stop trying to be all things, do all things and, most of all, buy all things. Sit quietly for a time. Think about the pregnancy of the season as Mary thought about the growing life of that special child within her. Even if your hands must be busy knitting sweaters and booties or stirring the stew, keep an inward ear on what is going on inside. Nurture the small flickering flame of faith that will grow to a strong, steady fire if propriety tended. PrePare --- let God grow in you. Renemember the "P" in the middle, a link between "pre" and "are" and yet a place to pause and reflect.
Have a blessed Advent.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Preparing II
The previous exercise wasn't completely satisfactory so now I will say what I wanted ot say without it being attached to any particular form or type of TR.
Preparing is a verb that speaks of getting ready for something or going somewhere. "I'm preparing a lesson for class," "I'm preparing to go to visit Aunt Mabel next week," and "I'm preparing dinner for the whole family this year" give a range of responses that indicate at least part of the range of situations where preparing is an important part.
This Sunday is the feast of Christ the King, traditionally the last Sunday in the season of Pentecost and the last Sunday in the church year, sort of New Year's Eve before December 31st. This year it also marks the beginning of the week of Thanksgiving preparation and celebration. Families are travelling, others are stocking up on essentials like yams, ingredients for stuffing, cranberry sauce and, of course, the main course which in many households is turkey. There are those preparing pies of various flavors, baking breads and rolls. Thursday morning the fever reaches its pitch and by Thursday afternoon it's all over but the cleanup and the doling out of leftovers.
But there's no real let-up. We have to be busy preparing for Christmas that comes in about four more weeks. There are gifts to buy, some to ship, some to be carried, some to stay at home under the tree. There are cookies to bake, parties to plan, decorating to do, cards to send, travel plans to confirm or housecleaning to be done in preparation for arriving company. We prepare right up to Christmas Eve and even Christmas Day is no real respite until late in the day when the presents are all open, dinner is over and the detritus of all the day's activity are cleared away.
Two deep breaths and its time to prepare for New Year's even though the stores have had Valentine's Day cards and candy on the shelves since just past midnight on Christmas Day. Come to think of it, Christmas stuff appeared on the shelves before Labor Day this year, ensuring we have plenty of time to prepare for the extended HallowThankMas season.
In the middle of this, though, is a quiet little season that is almost forgotten by most. Advent is a church season totally dedicated to preparing --- not decorating with lights and baubles, not preparing the larder for orgies of cooking and baking, not preparing lists of gifts to buy or cards to send. The church season reminds us to look past the worldy preparing we are urged, encouraged and cajoled to do and to look within ourselves. We are enjoined to prepare ourselves spiritually for the coming of the Christ Child. It's hard to remember Advent sometimes, especially when images of Santa Claus abound and Christmas carols that we don't sing until Christmas Eve resound through the stores and malls only to be silenced again at midnight on Christmas Eve.
Oddly enough, Advent ends at midnight on Christmas Eve as well. We have prepared outwardly and hopefully inwardly. We have decorated but we have also contemplated. We have sent cards and gifts but we have also read and prayed. We have baked and stirred but we have also thought a bit more about saying "thank you" to someone who holds the door for us or putting a bill in a red kettle instead of just loose change. We notice people are a bit more thoughtful, a bit more cheerful, a bit more generous.
It's the result of preparing --- the internal preparing that opens one up to possibilities which might have escaped us had we not gone through a bit of preparatory work.
During the holidays we spend a great deal of time and energy into preparing and then realize we've reached the culmination and suddenly there's a big void. Ask my friend who just got married in October. She'd spent a year planning, organizing, coordinating and preparing, sometimes driving herself (and those who loved her) absolutely crazy until the day arrived and all the preparation ended. the next morning she woke up and realized there was only a different kind of preparation to do -- preparation for the rest of her life as Mrs M, not Miss M who was going to be married October 10th.
Advent is preparing but the preparing can go on past December 24th at 11:59 pm. There are 12 days to celebrate Christmas ahead when the world has already moved on to Valentine's Day. There are the days of Epiphany that encourage a different kind of inner preparation, that of being aware of God among us and then we find the season of Lent as another preparation, preparing the heart for the dismay and pain of Good Friday and the joy and celebration of Easter. It's a continuous project, if we do it right.
In the midst of the holiday preparing, remember to stop and prepare the inside. It will pay off in the end, and you won't have to wait for the after-holiday sales.
Preparing is a verb that speaks of getting ready for something or going somewhere. "I'm preparing a lesson for class," "I'm preparing to go to visit Aunt Mabel next week," and "I'm preparing dinner for the whole family this year" give a range of responses that indicate at least part of the range of situations where preparing is an important part.
This Sunday is the feast of Christ the King, traditionally the last Sunday in the season of Pentecost and the last Sunday in the church year, sort of New Year's Eve before December 31st. This year it also marks the beginning of the week of Thanksgiving preparation and celebration. Families are travelling, others are stocking up on essentials like yams, ingredients for stuffing, cranberry sauce and, of course, the main course which in many households is turkey. There are those preparing pies of various flavors, baking breads and rolls. Thursday morning the fever reaches its pitch and by Thursday afternoon it's all over but the cleanup and the doling out of leftovers.
But there's no real let-up. We have to be busy preparing for Christmas that comes in about four more weeks. There are gifts to buy, some to ship, some to be carried, some to stay at home under the tree. There are cookies to bake, parties to plan, decorating to do, cards to send, travel plans to confirm or housecleaning to be done in preparation for arriving company. We prepare right up to Christmas Eve and even Christmas Day is no real respite until late in the day when the presents are all open, dinner is over and the detritus of all the day's activity are cleared away.
Two deep breaths and its time to prepare for New Year's even though the stores have had Valentine's Day cards and candy on the shelves since just past midnight on Christmas Day. Come to think of it, Christmas stuff appeared on the shelves before Labor Day this year, ensuring we have plenty of time to prepare for the extended HallowThankMas season.
In the middle of this, though, is a quiet little season that is almost forgotten by most. Advent is a church season totally dedicated to preparing --- not decorating with lights and baubles, not preparing the larder for orgies of cooking and baking, not preparing lists of gifts to buy or cards to send. The church season reminds us to look past the worldy preparing we are urged, encouraged and cajoled to do and to look within ourselves. We are enjoined to prepare ourselves spiritually for the coming of the Christ Child. It's hard to remember Advent sometimes, especially when images of Santa Claus abound and Christmas carols that we don't sing until Christmas Eve resound through the stores and malls only to be silenced again at midnight on Christmas Eve.
Oddly enough, Advent ends at midnight on Christmas Eve as well. We have prepared outwardly and hopefully inwardly. We have decorated but we have also contemplated. We have sent cards and gifts but we have also read and prayed. We have baked and stirred but we have also thought a bit more about saying "thank you" to someone who holds the door for us or putting a bill in a red kettle instead of just loose change. We notice people are a bit more thoughtful, a bit more cheerful, a bit more generous.
It's the result of preparing --- the internal preparing that opens one up to possibilities which might have escaped us had we not gone through a bit of preparatory work.
During the holidays we spend a great deal of time and energy into preparing and then realize we've reached the culmination and suddenly there's a big void. Ask my friend who just got married in October. She'd spent a year planning, organizing, coordinating and preparing, sometimes driving herself (and those who loved her) absolutely crazy until the day arrived and all the preparation ended. the next morning she woke up and realized there was only a different kind of preparation to do -- preparation for the rest of her life as Mrs M, not Miss M who was going to be married October 10th.
Advent is preparing but the preparing can go on past December 24th at 11:59 pm. There are 12 days to celebrate Christmas ahead when the world has already moved on to Valentine's Day. There are the days of Epiphany that encourage a different kind of inner preparation, that of being aware of God among us and then we find the season of Lent as another preparation, preparing the heart for the dismay and pain of Good Friday and the joy and celebration of Easter. It's a continuous project, if we do it right.
In the midst of the holiday preparing, remember to stop and prepare the inside. It will pay off in the end, and you won't have to wait for the after-holiday sales.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Preparing
Since I'm going to be using this as a TR in a week or so, I wanted to try this out on myself first.
The word to be considered is "Preparing." For me, it denotes a getting ready for something, planning and executing things necessary to accomplish something --- like cooking Thanksgiving dinner, the season of advent and all the commotion of buying gifts, trimming trees, hosting parties and baking cookies for Christmas.
Who was involved when I was feeling a sense of preparing? Mama for the most part but also me at various times. Buying certain items of food (a turkey, a ham, apples, grapes, celery and miniature marshmallow, polishing the silver and making sure the linen tablecloth was spotless and perfectly ironed were Mama's traditions. Mine followed some of them although my tablecloth wasn't white linen.
What image comes to mind about feeling the sense of preparing? Chopping apples and the other ingredients for the salad, soaking the Christmas ham, stuffing the turkey for Thanksgiving, having the house smell of spices and seasoning, not to mention the scent of cedar from the fresh tree every year.
Where does this come from and where is it found in society? It comes from family tradition and also from everything from Saturday Evening Post covers to contemporary advertising. We are programmed to prepare for an ideal celebration with all the proper accoutrements. Anything less is second-best, a failure and may possibly warp our children and grandchildren for life.
When does this come up in the Bible, lives of saints, hymns, etc? The idea of preparing shows up for me in the story of the Wedding at Canaan. The bridegroom's family forgot or failed to secure enough wine for all the guests and so were left in the embarasssing situation of not having enough to go around. Preparing also shows up in Isaiah, especially the parts we hear during Advent, itself a season of preparing as is the season of Lent. Perhaps preparing for Christmas or Thanksgiving Day aren't on the same plane as celebrating Advent or moving through Lent, but still, preparing is a very important component.
Why is this manifest in our lives? I look to tradition -- family, faith and societal -- to give structure and meaning to life. Preparing for something, like the steps of cooking Thanksgiving Dinner or getting ready for Christmas, gives a sense of being part of a community activity even if the communal activity takes place only in the home. Celebrating Advent, itself a spiritual preparing for the Feast of the Nativity, encourages us to think more deeply than what to get Aunt Mabel or whether the family will all be comfortable at dinner if we invite Susie's boyfriend with the earring and tattoos that definitely mark him as an 'outsider'. As preparing for Christmas is an external event, so Advent is preparing in an internal way.
How might God redeem any negatives in this? I think that instead of God redeeming any negatives, I need to remember to put God back in to the preparing process.
What have I learned for the next time I feel a sense of preparing? I need to remember to do the important preparing -- the internal preparation -- even if the more visible, external preparing doesn't get done.
The word to be considered is "Preparing." For me, it denotes a getting ready for something, planning and executing things necessary to accomplish something --- like cooking Thanksgiving dinner, the season of advent and all the commotion of buying gifts, trimming trees, hosting parties and baking cookies for Christmas.
Who was involved when I was feeling a sense of preparing? Mama for the most part but also me at various times. Buying certain items of food (a turkey, a ham, apples, grapes, celery and miniature marshmallow, polishing the silver and making sure the linen tablecloth was spotless and perfectly ironed were Mama's traditions. Mine followed some of them although my tablecloth wasn't white linen.
What image comes to mind about feeling the sense of preparing? Chopping apples and the other ingredients for the salad, soaking the Christmas ham, stuffing the turkey for Thanksgiving, having the house smell of spices and seasoning, not to mention the scent of cedar from the fresh tree every year.
Where does this come from and where is it found in society? It comes from family tradition and also from everything from Saturday Evening Post covers to contemporary advertising. We are programmed to prepare for an ideal celebration with all the proper accoutrements. Anything less is second-best, a failure and may possibly warp our children and grandchildren for life.
When does this come up in the Bible, lives of saints, hymns, etc? The idea of preparing shows up for me in the story of the Wedding at Canaan. The bridegroom's family forgot or failed to secure enough wine for all the guests and so were left in the embarasssing situation of not having enough to go around. Preparing also shows up in Isaiah, especially the parts we hear during Advent, itself a season of preparing as is the season of Lent. Perhaps preparing for Christmas or Thanksgiving Day aren't on the same plane as celebrating Advent or moving through Lent, but still, preparing is a very important component.
Why is this manifest in our lives? I look to tradition -- family, faith and societal -- to give structure and meaning to life. Preparing for something, like the steps of cooking Thanksgiving Dinner or getting ready for Christmas, gives a sense of being part of a community activity even if the communal activity takes place only in the home. Celebrating Advent, itself a spiritual preparing for the Feast of the Nativity, encourages us to think more deeply than what to get Aunt Mabel or whether the family will all be comfortable at dinner if we invite Susie's boyfriend with the earring and tattoos that definitely mark him as an 'outsider'. As preparing for Christmas is an external event, so Advent is preparing in an internal way.
How might God redeem any negatives in this? I think that instead of God redeeming any negatives, I need to remember to put God back in to the preparing process.
What have I learned for the next time I feel a sense of preparing? I need to remember to do the important preparing -- the internal preparation -- even if the more visible, external preparing doesn't get done.
Friday, September 25, 2009
We have met the Romans and They Is Us (apologies to Pogo)
It's interesting to read a year of EfM for the second time. There's a chance to look at nuances and concepts that somehow swept by the first time.
Chapter 2 of Year 3 (church history) deals with the early days of the church in Rome and its empire. At first the Romans seemed to see Jewish and Christian as one and the same, not surprising since Christianity was evolving from its Jewish roots. Eventually, however, Christians were accused of mischief, superstition and eventually crimes including that of cannibalism, incest, superstition and even atheism (Christians denied the divinity of the Roman Emperor which made them athiests in the Roman eyes). As a result Christians were put through all sorts of torture including being put to death in the arena where their struggles were considered amusements for the Roman spectators or being hung on stakes and used as human torches.
The strength of the early Christians is a source of amazement to me. I know how I feel when people disagree with my religious beliefs and practices but how would I react if I were truly persecuted in the way the early Christians were? Could I have held the faith as surely as they did? Can I now, in a modern Western culture where persecution often means "You simply don't believe the right things and you should be excluded from the community of the true believers."
I posted this as my impression of the chapter on our discussion board and sure enough, one of the students gave me something to think about, namely, when looking at the position of the early church, perhaps we should also consider the Romans. The Romans were the majority in Rome (obviously -- otherwise we'd be talking about the Hittites, the Greeks or some other group) and were the ruling class in a good part of the rest of the Mediterranean world. The argument was made that perhaps the Romans were doing the best they could for the masses while dealing with a group that they felt were dangerous.
To me, that's a dangerous argument. It could be said that the Germans used the Holocaust as a way of dealing with a group they felt were dangerous and in a way that they felt were best for the masses. An older friend who lived in Germany for some years finally went to visit Auschwitz on a trip back to Europe years after having left to return to the States. She said that one room of exhibits particularly upset her, a room full of eyeglasses, and while describing it she still could not bring herself to say that the people whose glasses were there were exterminated. Her term for them was "had to leave their glasses behind." Well, that's true but coupled with the disappointment she stated she felt with herself for actually visiting Auschwitz and the statement that she didn't want to think the German people she was so fond of could have known about places like this, it points to the fact that even when faced with the truth of what happened she still could not accept the enormity of it.
I believe that we in the US are also guilty of being the modern equivalents of the Romans in the coliseum. There have been atrocities committed, often with the implied reason being the best interests of the masses, and we just sit in our place in the crowd and watch passively. Mention names like Cambodia, Argentina, Chile, Croatia, Darfur and we express our horror and empathy with the victims but what did we do to alleviate their suffering. These were the people in the arena, facing gladiators and wild animals with few if any defenses and we watched as they suffered and died. We tried sending aid in some cases but that aid was diverted by the powers that be in those countries to benefit their supporters while the exterminations, the starvation, the rape and murder, the kidnapping and torture, the forcible impression of young children into bands of soldiers went on, often without our saying a word.
The church was no better. Where was the voice of the church when all these things were going on? Seldom did a group that calls itself Christian speak out in a way that commanded attention to and assisted in the reversal of the horror and death. While one Roman may not have been able to stop the carnage in the coliseums but a number of them could have done and possibly did, quietly and at risk to themselves, try to rescue as many as possible.
While thinking of the Romans I have one thought: He may have had only one, but Cassius certainly had a point.
Chapter 2 of Year 3 (church history) deals with the early days of the church in Rome and its empire. At first the Romans seemed to see Jewish and Christian as one and the same, not surprising since Christianity was evolving from its Jewish roots. Eventually, however, Christians were accused of mischief, superstition and eventually crimes including that of cannibalism, incest, superstition and even atheism (Christians denied the divinity of the Roman Emperor which made them athiests in the Roman eyes). As a result Christians were put through all sorts of torture including being put to death in the arena where their struggles were considered amusements for the Roman spectators or being hung on stakes and used as human torches.
The strength of the early Christians is a source of amazement to me. I know how I feel when people disagree with my religious beliefs and practices but how would I react if I were truly persecuted in the way the early Christians were? Could I have held the faith as surely as they did? Can I now, in a modern Western culture where persecution often means "You simply don't believe the right things and you should be excluded from the community of the true believers."
I posted this as my impression of the chapter on our discussion board and sure enough, one of the students gave me something to think about, namely, when looking at the position of the early church, perhaps we should also consider the Romans. The Romans were the majority in Rome (obviously -- otherwise we'd be talking about the Hittites, the Greeks or some other group) and were the ruling class in a good part of the rest of the Mediterranean world. The argument was made that perhaps the Romans were doing the best they could for the masses while dealing with a group that they felt were dangerous.
To me, that's a dangerous argument. It could be said that the Germans used the Holocaust as a way of dealing with a group they felt were dangerous and in a way that they felt were best for the masses. An older friend who lived in Germany for some years finally went to visit Auschwitz on a trip back to Europe years after having left to return to the States. She said that one room of exhibits particularly upset her, a room full of eyeglasses, and while describing it she still could not bring herself to say that the people whose glasses were there were exterminated. Her term for them was "had to leave their glasses behind." Well, that's true but coupled with the disappointment she stated she felt with herself for actually visiting Auschwitz and the statement that she didn't want to think the German people she was so fond of could have known about places like this, it points to the fact that even when faced with the truth of what happened she still could not accept the enormity of it.
I believe that we in the US are also guilty of being the modern equivalents of the Romans in the coliseum. There have been atrocities committed, often with the implied reason being the best interests of the masses, and we just sit in our place in the crowd and watch passively. Mention names like Cambodia, Argentina, Chile, Croatia, Darfur and we express our horror and empathy with the victims but what did we do to alleviate their suffering. These were the people in the arena, facing gladiators and wild animals with few if any defenses and we watched as they suffered and died. We tried sending aid in some cases but that aid was diverted by the powers that be in those countries to benefit their supporters while the exterminations, the starvation, the rape and murder, the kidnapping and torture, the forcible impression of young children into bands of soldiers went on, often without our saying a word.
The church was no better. Where was the voice of the church when all these things were going on? Seldom did a group that calls itself Christian speak out in a way that commanded attention to and assisted in the reversal of the horror and death. While one Roman may not have been able to stop the carnage in the coliseums but a number of them could have done and possibly did, quietly and at risk to themselves, try to rescue as many as possible.
While thinking of the Romans I have one thought: He may have had only one, but Cassius certainly had a point.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
So they called them and charged them not to speak or teach at all in the name of Jesus. But Peter and John answered them, “Whether it is right in the sight of God to listen to you rather than to God, you must judge, for we cannot but speak of what we have seen and heard.” And when they had further threatened them, they let them go, finding no way to punish them, because of the people, for all were praising God for what had happened. For the man on whom this sign of healing was performed was more than forty years old. (Acts 4:18-22, ESV)
Peter and John are facing what would probably be considered the Supreme Court of Jerusalem in their time -- "...rulers, elders, and scribes assembled in Jerusalem, with Annas the high priest, Caiaphas, John, and Alexander, and all who were of the high-priestly family" (vs. 5-6). The disciples had been encouraging the people to follow Jesus and the religious hierarchy was nervous. What was at stake was no less than their position of power because these two who had no standing or position within the priestly class were preaching and teaching about an executed criminal who wanted to change things dramatically. And furthermore they had actually healed a man in the name of this executed criminal, a man who was actually standing in the court in mute testimony of what had happened to him! The court could not make charges stick so they told the disciples to just keep quiet and go home. Peter and John couldn't do that, they explained. They were charged to spread the Word. The court again found itself powerless so with another warning they released the two.
The part that struck me this morning was " ' ...Whether it is right in the sight of God to listen to you rather than to God, you must judge, for we cannot but speak of what we have seen and heard.' " The disciples simply stated the truth -- they had to do what they were charged to do by an authority higher than the priestly court who had tried to bring them up on charges and silence them.
I wonder what would have happened if Peter and John had given in. They could have slunk off, promising never to be bad again and returning to their little villages and fishing boats but instead they stood up for what they knew God wanted of them --- to continue to spread the word of the good news and the kingdom. At the time of the arrest people were listening to that message and were believing. Scripture reports that just on the one occasion at which Peter and John were apprehended, 5,000 believed enough to accept the message these two Galileans brought. The Jerusalem council didn't, but they had too much to lose and their own conviction that they had the truth about what God wanted. Peter and John could have authored the slogan used by the kosher hot-dog people, "We answer to a higher authority" and it would have been no lie. They had a job to do and only God could turn them away from it, even at the risk of their lives. They had a message all the people needed to hear and, with God’s help, they were going to pass that message as far and as wide as they could.
It reminds me a little of the verbal donnybrook going on in the Anglican Communion these days. There is the demand that all Anglicans/Episcopalians follow the "faith once delivered to the saints" and accept traditional thinking as orthodoxy with no truck being taken for progressive or contemporary scholarship models. Funny, but a lot of this centers around basically two groups of people, two traditional sacraments and three (or maybe three million) ways of looking at things #1 and 2. The people, of course, are (a) GLBTI and (b)anybody who sees them as children of God with no distinction made as to their status as baptized members of the Body of Christ with the rights and responsibilities of any other baptized member of the Body. The sacraments are (a) marriage and (b) ordination/consecration. The ways of looking at things run the gamut from ultra-ultra orthodox through to the far opposite pole, the ultra-progressive liberal. In the vast middle are those in between, many of whom simply see Christianity as their way of belief, they may have answers but aren't particularly worried whether theirs are the only possible ones, and who generally feel that if the church baptizes people and God calls'em, then let'em minister as God calls. If they're in a committed relationship and intend to continue this relationship until death do them part, let'em get married with all the rights and responsibilities of heterosexual married people. Of course there are some of the more conservative who don't particularly get upset at the thought of GLBTI priests or married couples and some progressives who just can't make that step from what they were taught growing up. Still, Anglican/Episcopal thought is all over the place on some issues and that's one of the strengths of the Anglican/Episcopal tradition.
I see Peter and John in this quagmire, standing before accusers, stating firmly that they answer to God rather than that of the humans sitting in judgment of them and that they can't stop what they're doing because this is what God has given them to do. It may not be a popular stance with many, and there are always those who feel called upon to judge what is and what isn't God's will that applies to everybody, no exceptions, but it's their calling, their vocation, their job.
I see The Episcopal Church, and others who see the same inclusiveness of all the baptized, standing with Peter and John, proclaiming what they feel is assuredly from God through the Spirit and in accordance with Jesus' teachings. If others wish a stricter discipline of what they feel is God's will for them, so be it and God's blessings be upon them but prophets and prophetic messages aren't always popular with the leadership or even the rank-and-file. The prophets of the Old Testament were ample witness of that. Still, they held firm to the message God gave them to deliver, come hell, high water or anything else. They stood their ground and answered to a higher authority. They could do no differently. The apostles and disciples of Jesus, including the guy Paul who certainly did a 180° turn, certainly didn't give messages that were popular in all corners, especially among the hierarchy in power. After all, Jesus' message wasn't about any power except God's and about loving God and the neighbors, even the ones who disagreed on how best to accomplish that.
TEC stands accused, just as the prophets and later Peter and John were, in the courts of the powerful, the hierarchy and those who are convinced that only they have all the right answers as to what it is God wants. TEC would do well to take the words of Peter and John to heart, " 'Whether it is right in the sight of God to listen to you rather than to God, you must judge, for we cannot but speak of what we have seen and heard.' ” In this age of soundbyte theology, TEC might do well to appropriate the slogan of the kosher hot-dog maker, "We answer to a higher authority." I think that's a pretty good line in the sand to draw and a statement to defend. I hope we have the courage to do it.
Peter and John are facing what would probably be considered the Supreme Court of Jerusalem in their time -- "...rulers, elders, and scribes assembled in Jerusalem, with Annas the high priest, Caiaphas, John, and Alexander, and all who were of the high-priestly family" (vs. 5-6). The disciples had been encouraging the people to follow Jesus and the religious hierarchy was nervous. What was at stake was no less than their position of power because these two who had no standing or position within the priestly class were preaching and teaching about an executed criminal who wanted to change things dramatically. And furthermore they had actually healed a man in the name of this executed criminal, a man who was actually standing in the court in mute testimony of what had happened to him! The court could not make charges stick so they told the disciples to just keep quiet and go home. Peter and John couldn't do that, they explained. They were charged to spread the Word. The court again found itself powerless so with another warning they released the two.
The part that struck me this morning was " ' ...Whether it is right in the sight of God to listen to you rather than to God, you must judge, for we cannot but speak of what we have seen and heard.' " The disciples simply stated the truth -- they had to do what they were charged to do by an authority higher than the priestly court who had tried to bring them up on charges and silence them.
I wonder what would have happened if Peter and John had given in. They could have slunk off, promising never to be bad again and returning to their little villages and fishing boats but instead they stood up for what they knew God wanted of them --- to continue to spread the word of the good news and the kingdom. At the time of the arrest people were listening to that message and were believing. Scripture reports that just on the one occasion at which Peter and John were apprehended, 5,000 believed enough to accept the message these two Galileans brought. The Jerusalem council didn't, but they had too much to lose and their own conviction that they had the truth about what God wanted. Peter and John could have authored the slogan used by the kosher hot-dog people, "We answer to a higher authority" and it would have been no lie. They had a job to do and only God could turn them away from it, even at the risk of their lives. They had a message all the people needed to hear and, with God’s help, they were going to pass that message as far and as wide as they could.
It reminds me a little of the verbal donnybrook going on in the Anglican Communion these days. There is the demand that all Anglicans/Episcopalians follow the "faith once delivered to the saints" and accept traditional thinking as orthodoxy with no truck being taken for progressive or contemporary scholarship models. Funny, but a lot of this centers around basically two groups of people, two traditional sacraments and three (or maybe three million) ways of looking at things #1 and 2. The people, of course, are (a) GLBTI and (b)anybody who sees them as children of God with no distinction made as to their status as baptized members of the Body of Christ with the rights and responsibilities of any other baptized member of the Body. The sacraments are (a) marriage and (b) ordination/consecration. The ways of looking at things run the gamut from ultra-ultra orthodox through to the far opposite pole, the ultra-progressive liberal. In the vast middle are those in between, many of whom simply see Christianity as their way of belief, they may have answers but aren't particularly worried whether theirs are the only possible ones, and who generally feel that if the church baptizes people and God calls'em, then let'em minister as God calls. If they're in a committed relationship and intend to continue this relationship until death do them part, let'em get married with all the rights and responsibilities of heterosexual married people. Of course there are some of the more conservative who don't particularly get upset at the thought of GLBTI priests or married couples and some progressives who just can't make that step from what they were taught growing up. Still, Anglican/Episcopal thought is all over the place on some issues and that's one of the strengths of the Anglican/Episcopal tradition.
I see Peter and John in this quagmire, standing before accusers, stating firmly that they answer to God rather than that of the humans sitting in judgment of them and that they can't stop what they're doing because this is what God has given them to do. It may not be a popular stance with many, and there are always those who feel called upon to judge what is and what isn't God's will that applies to everybody, no exceptions, but it's their calling, their vocation, their job.
I see The Episcopal Church, and others who see the same inclusiveness of all the baptized, standing with Peter and John, proclaiming what they feel is assuredly from God through the Spirit and in accordance with Jesus' teachings. If others wish a stricter discipline of what they feel is God's will for them, so be it and God's blessings be upon them but prophets and prophetic messages aren't always popular with the leadership or even the rank-and-file. The prophets of the Old Testament were ample witness of that. Still, they held firm to the message God gave them to deliver, come hell, high water or anything else. They stood their ground and answered to a higher authority. They could do no differently. The apostles and disciples of Jesus, including the guy Paul who certainly did a 180° turn, certainly didn't give messages that were popular in all corners, especially among the hierarchy in power. After all, Jesus' message wasn't about any power except God's and about loving God and the neighbors, even the ones who disagreed on how best to accomplish that.
TEC stands accused, just as the prophets and later Peter and John were, in the courts of the powerful, the hierarchy and those who are convinced that only they have all the right answers as to what it is God wants. TEC would do well to take the words of Peter and John to heart, " 'Whether it is right in the sight of God to listen to you rather than to God, you must judge, for we cannot but speak of what we have seen and heard.' ” In this age of soundbyte theology, TEC might do well to appropriate the slogan of the kosher hot-dog maker, "We answer to a higher authority." I think that's a pretty good line in the sand to draw and a statement to defend. I hope we have the courage to do it.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Thinking
I just got back from EfM mentor training yesterday and, after reassuring the boys that I had indeed returned and wasn't going anywhere else in the immediate future and taking a much-needed nap, I decided to postpone reorganizing the notes and handouts I'd been given and just sort of take life easy. It was a grueling time, spiritually, mentally and emotionally. It was also exhilarating, frightening (to the point of terror), fun, interesting, stretching, puzzling, fulfillling, educating, sobering and introspective time. It's no wonder I'm tired -- experiencing all that from Thursday afternoon at 2pm until yesterday (Saturday) at 2pm with driving about 175 miles total going back and forth, is enough in itself. But I'm also pumped (or juiced or jazzed or revved up or whatever the current term might be) to dig in to what I have been given and see what I can mine from it. Ok, so I mixed a metaphor or two; the trainer, David, remarked with some amazement that I had strung 3 metaphors together when concluding a TR. I wonder if that was a good or a bad thing? Anyway, for info, they were something about being between a rock and a hard place, watching a wave approach and wash over and then coming out the other side in order to breathe or something like that. I do it automatically I don't always notice or remember.
At any rate, I have a stack of paper, pages of notes to decipher and transcribe, piles to sort and categorize so I can put them in relevant sections of a binder and will be able to find them again when wanted. I have groceries to buy, water to fetch, a house to de-fur and tidy, a bit of laundry to do, and most of all another nap. There is work to be done at the office tomorrow so I have to gird up my mental loins for that but I also, for the first time in three days, have to plan what to eat and decide how willing I am to spend the time preparing it or whether I would rather jsut throw something in the microwave. It was lovely having someone else cook and wash dishes, especially serving some things I seldom have (like fresh fruit already cut up) . It's also got me more motivated to buy some of that at the store instead of some of the more junky junk I love.
I will be processing what i have learned for quite a while yet. I will have questions and luckily I know people who are so patient in answering them. I have some personal planning to do and some work to do ahead of this year. I also have to be ready to accept disappointment if it comes. I'm not sure I will ever be ready for that but for my sanity's sake, I must. I also have to do some financial management matters that I have been postponing until I finished the class so that I wouldn't be distracted.
Enough blather. it's time to work.
At any rate, I have a stack of paper, pages of notes to decipher and transcribe, piles to sort and categorize so I can put them in relevant sections of a binder and will be able to find them again when wanted. I have groceries to buy, water to fetch, a house to de-fur and tidy, a bit of laundry to do, and most of all another nap. There is work to be done at the office tomorrow so I have to gird up my mental loins for that but I also, for the first time in three days, have to plan what to eat and decide how willing I am to spend the time preparing it or whether I would rather jsut throw something in the microwave. It was lovely having someone else cook and wash dishes, especially serving some things I seldom have (like fresh fruit already cut up) . It's also got me more motivated to buy some of that at the store instead of some of the more junky junk I love.
I will be processing what i have learned for quite a while yet. I will have questions and luckily I know people who are so patient in answering them. I have some personal planning to do and some work to do ahead of this year. I also have to be ready to accept disappointment if it comes. I'm not sure I will ever be ready for that but for my sanity's sake, I must. I also have to do some financial management matters that I have been postponing until I finished the class so that I wouldn't be distracted.
Enough blather. it's time to work.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
After a long silence
It seems trite to say it's been a long time since I posted anything. Of course it has. It's been even longer since I started this blog as a place to think thoughts on paper. Yet more water has gone over the dam since that first post --- losing a house, moving to another, cut back in hours at work and the threat of even more cuts, the deaths of more than one or two people of whom I was fond or at least had some connection to, no matter how tenuous, the completion of a 4-year course of EfM -- and I'm still not much better at the widowhood thing than I was so many months ago. I live quietly, pay my bills, keep the cats fed and the house tidy, keep in touch with friends, go to work, come home and start all over the next day. I'm alone most of the time (well, except for the cats) and that's fine with me. I feel more comfortable in my little place than anywhere else and friends are almost always as close as a phone line if I need human contact. Except for the same worries millions of others have these days, what with the economy tanking and all, things are fine, thanks.
And thank you, God, for getting me this far. I won't even ask what's next becuase I'm not sure I want to know -- or need to.
And thank you, God, for getting me this far. I won't even ask what's next becuase I'm not sure I want to know -- or need to.
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