Conversion of St Paul

Acts 9:1-22


The story of the conversion of Saul is a familiar one, placed in the Epiphany season as both an educational tale about the early days of the followers of Jesus Christ outside of the disciples who followed him in the flesh, and also a story about how one of the most hated persecutors of those Christians became a preacher and evangelist who reached people outside the usual group who had previously heard of Jesus.  While the disciples themselves were preachers and teachers, the story of Saul is one of epiphany, trial, and forging new ground in the spread of the news of Jesus Christ outside of Israel.

Saul was a fervent Pharisee, educated in the law and also the practices of Judaism. Pharisees were strict followers of both the written and oral traditions of the faith, strict in interpretation and practice. He was a type of super-Pharisee since part of his job was to find those who were not following the laws and traditions as strictly as they felt it should be, and to crack down on those who practiced heresy, blasphemy, and other crimes against the teachings of Judaism.

Saul was zealous in his searching for law-breakers, and that is how he came to be present at the stoning of a man called Stephen, a deacon in the congregation of the apostles in Jerusalem, and a spokesman for the teachings of Christ to those who would listen and possibly become new proselytes in the faith. Paul stood guard over the cloaks of those who stoned Stephen for his blasphemy, and who approved and encouraged the stoning to its conclusion with Stephen’s death. He had undoubtedly heard Stephen’s masterful recital of the history of salvation in the scriptures but was unswayed by Stephen’s arguments that Jesus was the Christ, the Son of God, and the messenger of salvation for the world. 

From the story in Acts, we know that Saul sought permission to go to Damascus to disrupt the growing movement called “The Way” and gained approval from the high priest to do so. As Saul approached Damascus, he was stopped by a blinding light, which caused him to fall off his mount onto the roadway, blind and frightened by a loud voice asking why Saul had persecuted the man Jesus and his followers. This was Saul’s first meeting with Jesus in person. Saul was told to go into Damascus and to follow the directions he would be given. Some men of the town helped him to the house of a man called Judas (how curious that the man named Judas betrayed Jesus but another gave refuge to a persecutor of Jesus). Saul stayed there for three days, not eating or drinking but praying.

On the third day, a man named Ananias (another coincidence, since another Ananias was the high priest who condemned Jesus) came to the house at God’s command, although with some trepidation, knowing Saul’s reputation as a relentless man toward followers of Jesus. He told Saul what God had instructed him to do and touched his eyes, allowing Saul to see once again. Saul may have been blinded under his original name and profession, but was reborn with new sight, a baptism for cleansing, a new job as an evangelist, and a new name, Paul.

Paul went on to evangelize the gentiles around the Mediterranean, and to travel to many ports and cities, establishing new outposts of Christianity. His many letters to various groups of new Christians became the earliest and most influential writings about the new church. Many times students of Paul’s writings wish he had used more punctuation (Koine Greek and Hebrew did not use commas, periods, etc.), and that Paul had included the text or at least the gist of the letters to which he was replying so that we could more accurately establish precisely to what he was talking about in his replies. We wrestle with some of the concepts (slavery, homosexuality, the role of women, etc.) he either stated or condemned, but we have learned in the past couple of centuries that we don’t consider the context of Paul’s words and world when it comes to translation, culture, or words that don’t appear anywhere else in Biblical literature. We have even fought wars over the interpretation of Paul’s utterances. 

It is little doubt that the teachings of Paul have had an impact on Christianity, second only to Jesus Christ himself. For someone who never met Jesus in the flesh, many of his writings have had much more effect on the faith than the words of even Jesus’s disciples themselves. It is because of Paul, the Way moved out of mainstream Judaism and into the inclusion of gentiles, and outcasts. Paul’s travels and expansion of outposts of Christian believers set the stage for global recognition and, in many cases, acceptance of that faith in many lands and cultures. It has not always been easy; in fact, wars on the grounds of religious belief are still part of our global perspective. Nevertheless, we have much for which to thank Paul, not least the lengths he had to go to and the suffering he had to endure to complete his task as God instructed.

We may not have conversions as dramatic as Paul’s, but now and then, when we get knocked off our donkeys, we have to stop and look around for what might be in front of our faces that we wouldn’t have seen otherwise. While we’re at it, we might need to rely on our other senses other than mere sight to tell us when God is trying to get our attention. We might not get a new identity or a lot of renown, but we’ll be a bit closer to doing God’s will and carrying Jesus’s message. Isn’t that our primary job as Christians?

Beware of bright lights and rearing donkeys today. We might be in for a real change in our lives.


Originally published at Speaking to the Soul on Episcopal Café  Saturday, January 25, 2020.

Unfinished Dreams

I dreamed I was me, but not the present me. I was in a culture where I felt comfortable, but more like a native village. I was about thirteen or so. I was chosen with seven others to leave the group and travel to a nearby school, where we were to be taught by craftsmen and mystics in one of eight categories. It was an honor to be one of the chosen to attend. We traveled for several days and finally arrived at a large clearing in the forest surrounded by small cottages where masters and their assigned students lived.

We were taken to a meeting in a building open to the sky but with columns and carved lintels that formed eight bays, grouped two per side. Each bay also labeled with the name of a gift or craft carved on the lintel. Each person’s name was called, and they were directed to one of the bays. I don’t remember what the names of the other bays were, but I was sent to Bay number 6, which bore the name of “Weaver.” The master there gave me a large carry bag, woven in a random pattern of grey, turquoise, and copper-colored bands of yarn. I recognized the master as a person I knew and respected in this life, one I was pleased to know as a friend and a wise woman. I remember thinking how blessed I was to have such a lovely gift, an opportunity to learn from this master, and also the additional blessing of friends to help me on my journey, both physical and spiritual. Then I was suddenly awakened, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get back to that dream.

All of us have dreams from time to time, some remembered, some half-remembered, and some forgotten when we woke from them. Some of the dreams were good, and some were nightmares. When I was young, it seemed most of the ones I remembered were nightmares that frightened me into calling into the darkness for my parents to come and chase them away. My calls were always answered, and the bogies were dispelled for another night.

Dreams seem to be a vehicle for things I need to consider or perhaps episodes I need to work through. I remember that often dreams in the Bible were messages that the dreamer was supposed to get regarding something God wanted them to know. At other times, God used God’s own voice or that of an angel to pass the message along.

Joseph, Jesus’ earthly father, got several messages in dreams, each of which revealed what Joseph needed to do to protect both Mary and the baby Jesus. Peter dreamed about a sheet being lowered from heaven and containing all types of animals along with the message that Peter (and we) should not consider unclean what God had made as clean.

Joseph, son of Jacob, advised the Pharaoh of his time how to prepare for both the feast and famine to come. This event brought the tribe of Jacob to Egypt to escape the famine in their own land. Generations later, the Pharaoh of the time received messages in dreams about plagues to come if Pharaoh did not release the Israelites to return home. That Pharaoh did not listen to Moses’ explanation of the dreams, and so the plagues struck until Pharaoh agreed to let the Israelites go, and the exodus began.  

God still speaks in dreams. I don’t know many who would not continue to be moved by the speech by the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., which we know as “I have a dream.  It has been a motivating ideal for countless people not only of the United States but the world who seek to, whether they recognize it or not, want to help bring the Kingdom of God closer to the current world. Even dreams of ordinary people can spark actions that help others to come closer to that kingdom, one that is needed now more than ever.

I have a feeling that the dream I had was unfinished when a cat landed on me and woke me up. I felt it was going somewhere, and I remember it so vividly, even days and weeks later. But try as I will, I can’t go back there. It’s like a cliff-hanger for a movie that won’t have a sequel.

So that leaves me with few options. Probably the most effective would be to accept the gift and learn what I can from it. I receive gifts every day that I don’t recognize, like the gift of a neighbor’s helping me to mow my yard with its crop of tall weeds, or who want me to knit something for them that is both personal and useful (they’re supplying the yarn and needles). The Weaver’s present of the carry bag brought me back to knitting, a craft I hadn’t practiced for years. It has also encouraged me to look for more gifts and messages expressed in dreams.

This time, though, I hope the cat will hold off for just a little while, letting me finish the dream before pouncing on me to announce it’s time for breakfast. Or was that God’s idea – a way to make me ponder what I remember and try to figure out the ending.

God bless.


Originally published at Speaking to the Soul on Episcopal Café Saturday, January 17, 2020.

Learning, Wisdom, and Epiphany

To acquire knowledge one must study, but to acquire wisdom, one must observe - Marilyn vos Savant

I love learning. If I'm really interested in a subject, I want to know everything I can about the subject. Unfortunately, not all of my school classes, from kindergarten through college, really fascinated me that much. One summer between elementary school and high school, something got me interested in Astronomy, and I spent the whole summer researching, making star maps, and trying to identify stars and constellations I could see from my back yard but without a telescope. To this day, I can still spot Orion far faster than I can the Big Dipper. Another summer, during college, I spent almost a month camping with a friend in a relatively isolated but not remote area, visiting cemeteries, talking to people whose families had lived there for generations, finding out about why their community was different than the rest of the area. That was great fun, and tremendously satisfying.

Learning is essential for everybody. It's one of the most important things we do in life, both in and out of formal educational institutions and organized tutoring. Sir John Templeton once said, "A day without learning is a day wasted. There is so much to learn and so little time to learn it." Evidence of this is thinking about how many times a day or even a week, we consult resources such as Google, even if for nothing more than as a help to solve a crossword puzzle.

We learn to survive disasters such as floods, earthquakes, etc., by watching documentaries, reading articles, or listening to experts. We want to be nurses, doctors, engineers, teachers, lawyers, managers, experts on a specific topic, or to build on a basic understanding of a subject or job where we already have a rudimentary knowledge, all in the attempt to improve our lives and those of our family members. Online education has become one of the fastest-growing forms of learning in the world. Even if the sum of new things we learn in a day is to fix a faucet or use an ATM at the bank or store, we are wiser than we were just a few minutes before we tried, whether or not we are successful, to do the new thing.  

Wisdom is a slightly different kettle of fish, however. Wisdom can come from learning or knowledge, but it also comes from experience and often an insight, an epiphany perhaps, that adds a new layer or a flash of understanding that was not there even a blink of an eye before. Being wise is often a trait attributed to the elders of a group. There is a recognition that with age comes recognition of the long lives they have lived and the experiences they have had. Until recent generations, most have not had access to advanced educational programs, so their skills have served as their instruction. Many cultures that revere their elders’ wisdom seem to be those who are closer to their roots, the earth, and their traditions.

During Advent, we sang a verse of the hymn that began “O Sapientia” or “O Wisdom.” It pays tribute to the wisdom that comes from the mouth of God, an understanding that comes not from age and experience but from whom we consider the source of all knowledge. God’s wisdom has been present since before the world was made. Did God know everything at that time? It seems from several parts of scripture that God learned from experience or even from the words of God’s own creations, so, in my very humble opinion, I believe God still learns, probably a thousand steps ahead of us. I admit I could be wrong, but it makes sense to me.

We use “Wisdom” as one of the appellations for the Holy Spirit. In Hebrew and Jewish studies, “Shekhinah” is a name frequently used for “Spirit.” The Greeks used the name “Sophia.” Both Sophia and Shekhinah are feminine word forms, although the Spirit is commonly referred to in the masculine.

In this season of Epiphany, we often hear about the sudden flashes of insight or understanding that we call wisdom. Wisdom regarding the true desires of Herod to know the location of the Christ Child showed the Magi what was happening and how they should respond by going home a different way. Prophets in the Bible were given new insights and instructions in dreams or appearances of angels, often changing the opinions and thoughts of the human recipients quite radically. New inventions, new ways of doing things, new understandings frequently come as sudden flashes of thinking and comprehension that help advance learning, the sciences, and even the arts. A person’s mind may have been chewing on an idea or concept for some time when, all of a sudden, somehow, a thought comes that resolves any problem or connects the separate parts into a workable whole. 

Wisdom, learning, intuition, inspiration – all are words that can indicate the change of mind and heart. In our Christian life, it is something for which we hope and pray. We may find that meditation and contemplation help us to still our minds so that God can get a word in edgewise, a concept that is usually something we need to think about, act on, or work through.  Ideally, we should seek new wisdom and new learning through daily prayer and regular attendance at church or study sessions, but sometimes an ordinary everyday experience or the reading of something can provide the spark that we need. It could be something minimal, but could also be or lead to something that could change the world.

This Epiphany season, I am going to try to increase my knowledge (learning) and insight (wisdom). Instead of dulling my mind with reruns and mind-candy, maybe silence and learning to stop the hamster cage of my mind are what I need to bring new epiphanies. I’ve had epiphanies before, and they have been mind-altering and sometimes life-changing. I think I need to work on experiencing more, with help from God, Jesus, and especially Spirit, whether I call her Sapientia, Shekhinah, or Sophia, the aspects of light, wisdom, dwelling, and presence are gifts for which I ask.

Most of all, I must try to learn something new every day.  Otherwise, what good can I do for the world? I might as well push up daisies from the underground parking lot we call the cemetery. I guess I’d best get busy because while daisies are pretty and I’ll be doing that at some point in time, I don’t need to rush it. That’s my epiphany for today.


Originally published at Speaking to the Soul on Episcopal Café Saturday, January 11, 2020.

Are We Having Fun Yet?

There’s an old saying about time flying when you’re having fun, or better yet, making that into a question of “Are we having fun yet?”  During my working years, it became a kind of joke, one we would ask each other when things were tense, stressed, or frustrated. The answer almost always came with an “Oh, yeah,” said with a trace of sarcasm or resignation. Even now that I’m retired, it is still a buzz phrase a friend, and I use to indicate one or the other of us is definitely not having fun.

Last year, time seemed to fly, for the most part, but most of it actually was not fun.  Oh, there were lots of cute kitten photos and amusing memes, plus cuddly animal stories, rescues, and the like. But there were also lots of depressing stories, the kind that could make a body want to curl up in a corner with a warm blanket and just shut out the whole world. Depression seemed very easy to sink into, and the news from day to day only seemed to make the black hole deeper. The national political scene goes from bad to ludicrous; world situations seem to teeter on the edge of a cliff. The nation’s infrastructure crumbles, but a new wall appears to be pushed ruthlessly along. School shootings, as well as gunfire in churches, malls, bars, concerts, and just about anywhere else people gather. Even homes aren’t safe from stray bullets, drive-by shootings, and home invasions. Children in cages, elders suffering neglect, Native Americans still being pushed off their lands and their holy places desecrated by bureaucrats hell-bent-for-leather for profits above ethics. Have we had enough bad news yet? 

Now that it’s 2020, what are our chances of turning things around and making things better for all of us? What is it going to take to do something positive?  When are we going to really start having fun rather than seeing fun as work, which is tedious, futile, or something we should be enjoying? Even on vacations, which are supposed to be about fun and recreation, are often more tiring and stressful than the typical workday.

I’m sure Jesus had lots of times when he would have said, “Are we having fun yet?” only to mean it in a less-than-enthusiastic way. It must have been hard having no permanent home, not always being sure where and when the next meal was coming from, and repeating the same things over and over to people who didn’t always seem to get what he was trying to teach. Even his disciples appeared as dim as 15-watt light bulbs at times. Indeed, there was no way that the journey to Calvary could be considered fun, but Jesus did everything he was supposed to do without complaint or trying to weasel out of it. He didn’t ask that God make things easier for him, just that he could do God’s will, whatever that might be.

So life isn’t going to be all fun and games. Now, I’m sure God had fun making the world with all its diversity of color, shape, texture, and size, from the amoebae and diatoms to the whales and elephants, mountains and oceans, but I can’t do stuff like that. I can enjoy creating simple things, like making a scarf or writing a blog post. I can vote to support something I believe in, and against things I feel are wrong or against the greater good. I can read and investigate what I read and the sources they cite. I can try to keep an open mind and heart, and try to do whatever I can to follow Jesus’s example of doing what is needed without expecting it to be fun.

But then, who says work can’t be fun? Maybe I just need to re-evaluate what “fun” is, and whether positive results can be enjoyable.  Being Christian doesn’t mean I have to be all gloom and doom and waiting for the Second Coming next Thursday. Being Christian means we get Christmas and Easter. We have the Beatitudes, John 3:16, Micah 6:8, the hope of the kingdom of God on earth, the promise of heaven, and the assurance of the love of God, the salvation Jesus bought for us, and the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

Who knows?  Working at making the world better might be fun because the benefits will be out of this world! 

God bless.


 Originally published at Speaking to the Soul on Episcopal Café  Saturday, January 4, 2020.